Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
