Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
