we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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