Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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