Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
