Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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