i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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