I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
