Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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