i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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