Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
