ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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