If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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