So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
