Where are you?
In a non slutty way
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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