Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
