So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im holly from the hills drunk
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
