theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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