I didn't shave. On purpose
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
