Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the day after is always just damage control
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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