how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
