The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
