Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
dude. I can hear the air.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
