Your tits are I can't wait for
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
