just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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