My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
