yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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