I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
