Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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