Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
