Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
