Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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