She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
