Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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