She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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