he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
