Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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