Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
