I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
