Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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