he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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