just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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