you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
