He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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