Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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