Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
