She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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