Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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