i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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