im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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