During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
