We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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