i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
