..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
