peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize