Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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