shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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